Movie Review Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li

Street Fighter The Legend of Chun Li (2009) 

Directed by Andrzej Bartkowiak 

Written by Justin Marks 

Starring Kristin Kreuk, Chris Klein, Neil McDonough, Robin Shou, Michael Clark Duncan

Release Date February 27th, 2009. 

Published February 28th, 2009.

Well, we’ve all seen career meltdowns off screen but how about witnessing a meltdown on screen? Chris Klein, best known for American Pie and Election does just that in Street Fighter Legend of Chun Li. As an Interpol agent, Klein delivers a performance of such goofball determination that his mere presence invites a giggle fit. 

Klein combines vocal affectation and exaggerated gesture to evoke something akin to a soap opera actor crossed with a community theater wannabe on top of the jocky persona that has been his calling card in his biggest role. You’ll recall he played the meathead jock with a big heart in election and the meathead jock who goes soft in American Pie. 

In Street Fighter he’s still a meathead but now a meathead with dramatic flair and an action heroes' sense of flair. Were there still a Mystery Science Theater this performance could go down in history as one of the great unintentionally hilarious roles in movie history. 

As for the rest of Street Fighter, villain Neal McDonough, one of those character actors whose name escapes you but his face you’ve a few hundred times, earns a few of the same derisive laughs that Klein does. For McDonough it’s a bizarre accent, part Irish part Cantonese? Vietnamese? Something with an eastern flair that just doesn’t jive with the Irish brogue. 

Michael Clarke Duncan is a long way away from the days when he was Oscar nominated for The Green Mile. He has become the go to beefy guy for beating people up. I can’t really say if there was another way for his career to play out but being an on-screen thug, the rest of his life doesn’t seem like the ideal career unless getting paid is your only motivation. I hope it was a really, really good paycheck. 

And finally star Kristen Kreuk. I am not a regular viewer of TV’s Smallville, but I’m told it’s a well-acted, complex superhero story and Kreuk’s Lana Lang is integral to the plot. She’s been in every episode. She likely wishes she had stayed in Smallville. Street Fighter may have given her; her very first leading role but the movie makes her look like a 12-year-old girl on steroids. The hair and makeup choices really truly make her look far younger than her 26 years. She makes Dakota Fanning look like Liz Taylor. 

That’s not a complement. The character is supposed to be in her mid-twenties. The look is distracting and unfortunate. 

As for the plot, hey, if director Andrzej Bartkowiak doesn’t care about the plot, why should we? Check out that final act and tell me what the bad guy's motive is? It’s a futile search because the script doesn’t supply one. It’s not really needed because the final act is really about fight choreography and some of the dopiest looking low budget effects this side of 1984’s The Last Dragon. At least that movie had a cool soundtrack. 

Eddie Murphy's Biggest Movie Mistakes

Originally Published in November 2011 to accompany the release of the long forgotten comedy, Tower Heist. 

Eddie Murphy returns to theaters on Friday, November 4, in the comedy "Tower Heist," co-starring Ben Stiller and directed by "Rush Hour" director Brett Ratner. "Tower Heist" looks a like a potential hit given the heavy promotion the film is getting from Universal Pictures. If "Tower Heist" does become a hit it will be remembered as a good decision by an actor who has a history of making very bad decisions. Here's a look back at some of Eddie Murphy's biggest career blunders.

"Imagine That"

In "Imagine That" Murphy delivers a dull family movie about a father bonding with his daughter after he discovers that her imaginary friends can help him predict the stock market. "Imagine That" failed with critics and at the box office, earning a 38 percent positive rating at Rottentomatoes.com and a meager $16 million at the domestic box office.

"Meet Dave"

How "Meet Dave" made it past the planning stages is a major question mark. The story finds Murphy in the dual role of a humanoid robot and the leader of the robot's miniature alien crew. Among critics, "Meet Dave" was blasted even worse than "Imagine That," with USA Today critic Claudia Puig calling the story "dull, witless and hackneyed." Among moviegoers, the project was among the biggest bombs of Murphy's career, earning a disastrous $11 million at the domestic box office. Ouch!

"Beverly Hills Cop III"

The original "Beverly Hills Cop" grossed over $230 million in the United States. "Beverly Hills Cop II" was slightly less successful than the original but still grossed over $150 million domestic. Seven years after "Beverly Hills Cop II," Murphy went back to the character of Axel Foley in hope of reviving his fading star-power following the diminishing returns for "Another 48 Hours," "Boomerang," and "The Distinguished Gentleman." The result was both a box office and critical failure. "Beverly Hills Cop III" grossed barely a quarter of what the original brought in at the box office 10 years earlier. As for critics, the same people who hailed Murphy's arrival in "Beverly Hills Cop" were mostly embarrassed for the desperate and unfunny Murphy in "Beverly Hills Cop III."

"The Adventures of Pluto Nash"

"The Adventures of Pluto Nash" is a legendary blunder. This sci-fi comedy starring Murphy as a nightclub owner on the moon, who travels the galaxy to investigate who burned his club down, cost more than $100 million dollars to make and took in an apocalyptic $4 million at the domestic box office. Not surprisingly, critics lambasted "The Adventures of Pluto Nash" -- for being a bad movie and for wasting the equivalent of the annual budget of your average small, island nation.

"Norbit"

Here we have a unique point in Eddie Murphy's career. Yes, "Norbit," the story of a nerdy kid who finds himself dragged into a marriage with a horrible overweight woman, also played by Murphy, was a hit, earning nearly $100 million at the box office. However, "Norbit" arrived in theaters in February 2007 with ads featuring Murphy in a fat-suit pretending to be his own wife, just as Murphy was campaigning for his very first Oscar for his role in "Dreamgirls." It is believed, though it cannot be proved, that "Norbit" cost Murphy an Academy Award, thus earning the film a place on the list of Eddie's biggest blunders.

Documentary Review Panico

Panico (2024) 

Directed by Simone Scafidi 

Written by Documentary 

Starring Dario Argento, Asia Argento, Guillermo Del Toro, Nicholas Winding Refn, Gaspar Noe

Release Date February 2nd, 2024 

Published January 29th, 2024 

At a particular point in the new documentary Panico, all about the life and work of Dario Argento, actress Cristina Marsillach, star of Argento's 1987 film, Opera, is asked "Who is Dario Argento?" Her response is that she doesn't know. This comes at the end of an interview in which she spoke about working with Argento, enjoying working for him, the struggles of working for a visionary like Argento, and slowly revealing that the two actually rarely talked while on set together. By the end, Marsillach is describing the horror and trauma of working on the film and is in tears by the time she says she doesn't know who Dario Argento really is. 

The natural artifice, the controlled storytelling of a documentary film almost betrays itself in this moment. The journey that Marsillach takes us on in this moment begins to take on the feeling of an Argento movie. It begins to feel like she's back on set and that the whole thing is a movie in which Argento was the antagonist, that mysterious man with a black glove and a cleaver. He's the unseen killer and she's the endangered ingenue. Is this what director Simone Scafidi is intending or is this what I am reading into this portion of Panico? I honestly cannot tell you for sure. I know that I believe every word Marsillach said. 

Marsillach appears remarkably genuine, and her recollections of events mirror the experiences of other actors who have worked with Argento over the past 50 plus years. Argento, though described as quiet and shy, energetic but also a shrinking violet amid the chaos of his sets, can be as cruel in silence as Stanley Kubrick could be cruel in bluster and demonstration on his. As described in Panico, Argento is in charge of all aspects of his films, every light, camera set up, and sound. But he's also a man who has his assistants tell his actress that he'd like her to remove her bra for the scene and is angry when she refuses though refuses to confront her directly. 

Is this perhaps why Argento began working with his daughter, Asia, also featured in the documentary, when she was just old enough to achieve his vision? No one, not Dario, not Asia, or any of his collaborators will say so, but there is a distinct notion that, yes, Dario worked with and directed his daughter so often because they were so alike but also because she was more apt to take his direction. This includes taking his direction in what Asia herself describes as losing her virginity on camera when she filmed a sex scene for The Stendahl Syndrome. 

Argento was roundly criticized in the 90s for filming sex scenes and nude scenes starring his daughter. Asia Argento, in her own words, describes these scenes as playing out, in real life, their own Electra Complex. Indeed, Carl Jung, had he not died before Argento began making films, might have appreciated the psychosexual themes and presentations in a Dario Argento movie, particularly Trauma, The Stendahl Complex or Phantom of the Opera, the most notable movies that Argento made with his daughter. 

But Panico is not about putting Dario Argento on trial, either directly or indirectly. Rather, this is a documentary celebrating his life and work and with his full participation. The documentarian joined Argento as he traveled to a hotel to write his next film. I can only guess that this was 2022's Dark Glasses, though it's never mentioned in the documentary. Argento enjoys the solitude of a hotel though not the expensive and lavish one that the filmmakers have set him up with in Panico. Nevertheless, a late scene does show Argento packing away what appears to be a fully completed screenplay. 

Panico moves in a more or less linear fashion through Argento's career from his childhood spent with Italian movie stars and directors via his famed photographer mother and his producer father, to his brief time in journalism, working as a critic, to his triumphant 1970 debut as a director. A film hailed by none other than Argento's hero, Alfred Hitchcock, The Bird with the Crystal Plumage is compared directly with Hitchcock's thrillers and Michael Powell's all time classic, Peeping Tom. High praise indeed. The film was a huge success and from there, the documentary charts Argento's ups and downs. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review Intersection

Intersection (1994) 

Directed by Mark Rydell 

Written by David Rayfiel, Marshall Brickman 

Starring Richard Gere, Sharon Stone, Lolita Davidovich, Martin Landau 

Release Date January 21st, 1994 

Published January 21st, 1994 

Intersection stars Richard Gere as architect Vincent Eastman. Having recently left his wife for another woman, we meet Vincent just waking up from a night of passion with Olivia (Lolita Davidovich). The two talk about building a new home and Vincent cautions Olivia not to push things too quickly as he still has a daughter with his ex-wife, Sally (Sharon Stone), who is also his business partner. To say that Vincent's life is complicated is an understatement. At work, he and Sally have a chilly relationship where she tries to stay focused on tasks and schedules and he tries and fails to be remote. 

And that's where the story begins. From there, Vincent will wrestle with the idea of fully committing to Olivia, building their dream home on cliff side property he purchased for them, and building a family. But, there is also the pull of a full life he once had with Sally, a history that is still remarkably present due to their business entanglements. And then there is Vincent's daughter, Meagan (future House star Jennifer Morrison), a 14 year old who is struggling with her parents being apart. It's implied that she may have an eating disorder but like the two lead actresses in Intersection, we won't learn much about her that isn't about her feelings for Vincent. 

Do you know what I find impossible to care about or invest in? Whether a rich, handsome, wishy-wash ass man like Vincent ends up with either Sharon Stone or Lolita Davidovich. Truly, do you root for him to win the lottery or win the lottery. He may be conflicted here but that conflict fails to translate beyond the character. None of the three main characters are very interesting. Vincent is a cypher, he's an empty suit. He's a blank behind the eyes guy whose allegiance to one woman or another is based on a whim or which way the wind is blowing. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Movie Review Sunrise

Sunrise (2024) 

Directed by Andrew Baird

Written by Ronan Blaney

Starring Guy Pearce, Alex Pettyfer, Crystal Yu 

Release Date January 19th, 2024

Published January 18th, 2024 

You know that modern trend of movie musicals that don't want you to know that they are musicals? You know? Wonka, Mean Girls, The Color Purple, movies that downplay the fact that they are centered on characters breaking into song? Sunrise is that as a Vampire movie. Sunrise does little to communicate the fact that it is a vampire movie. Even while watching Sunrise you have to work hard to determine that what you are watching is a vampire movie. The vampire in question walks around in daylight, though its set in the Pacific Northwest so that could just be a function of lack of sun, but truly few of the vampire movie tropes are visible in Sunrise, engendering a deep and abiding confusion over what this movie is supposed to be. 

Sunrise stars Guy Pearce as Reynolds, a bully and a tyrant, ruling over a pacific northwest town with an iron fist. With his mother, Ma Reynolds (Olwen Fouere) imperiously at his side, Reynolds uses intimidation and fear to get what he wants and what he wants is the property of a recently arrived Asian family. Yan Loi (Crystal Yu) has survived seeing her brother murdered and is now facing threats to her own life and the life of her son Edward (William Gao), as she works to maintain her land. It's at this point that an unlikely stranger enters her life. 

Alex Pettyfer co-stars in Sunrise as Fallon, a former cop who was forced to watch as Reynolds' thugs murdered his wife. Fallon himself was also left for dead but something saved his life. For the past several years he's stalked the forest living off the land and perhaps plotting revenge. When he's found on the land owned by Yan Loi he's in bad shape and is nursed back to health. In secret, Fallon asks Edward to get him blood to drink. This begins to restore Fallon's strength and as he comes back to health, he begins to look out for the Loi family, preparing for a showdown with Reynolds. 

It's more coherent in my retelling here than it is in the actual movie, Sunrise. For one thing, my description doesn't account for the fact that Pettyfer, though credited as the co-lead of the movie alongside Guy Pearce, spends most of the movie in a bed, in darkness, occasionally rising to drink blood. Pettyfer already isn't the most expressive actor on the planet. Leaving him to mumble a few words while lying down in a dark room is not exactly the best use of his talents. Pettyfer is a handsome dude whose best features, cheekbones, abs, are visual. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media 

Horror in the 90s Bride of Re-Animator

Bride of Re-Animator (1991) 

Directed by Brian Yuzna 

Written by Woody Keith, Rick Fry

Starring Jeffrey Combes, Bruce Abbott, Kathleen Kinmont 

Release Date February 22nd, 1991 

Box Office $2.5 Million

The original Re-Animator, based on an H.P Lovecraft story, and directed by visionary sci-fi horror director Stuart Gordon, was a genuine shocker. Re-Animator posited a Dr. Frankenstein scenario in which a pair of doctors are working together to solve death. Dr. Herbert West, iconically portrayed by Jeffrey Combes, was a true creep even as his goal was to alleviate death. His arrogance and awkwardness drove him to try and play God with horrific consequences. Many people died others were robbed of their dignity in death and forced to walk the Earth as slobbering, slippery zombies. 

Stuart Gordon used Re-Animator to explore his visionary dark humor and darker talent for staging and effects. The practical effects of Re-Animator create a series of horrific scenes of body horror that remain memorable to this day. With Jeffrey Combes leaning into the mad scientist character and Gordon at the top of his talents, Re-Animator earned its status as a cult classic and a must see movie for fans of deeply transgressive horror movies well outside of the mainstream. 

Sadly, the cult success of Re-Animator piqued the interest of producers who, desiring to capitalize on popular intellectual property, decided to make a sequel despite not having Gordon's genius to guide it. Instead, the far lesser talented Brian Yuzna stepped in for Gordon and delivered the kind of lazy sequel you only get when the principal partners are merely interested in their return on investment. Despite getting both Jeffrey Combes and the blandly handsome Bruce Abbott to reprise their roles, Bride of Re-Animator is a pale and failing attempt to recapture the horror magic that was Re-Animator. 

A mere 8 months after they caused multiple deaths and allowed a man's severed head to commit horrific crimes, Dr. Herbert West (Combes) and Dr. Dan Cain (Bruce Abbott) are laying low in the worst place imaginable. The two are working for Doctors Without Borders in a Central American warzone. Here, Dr. West finds a series of suitable bodies he can experiment on. Freshly dead and relatively intact despite the wounds of war, Dr. West thinks he can bring the dead back to life, if given enough time. Unfortunately for Dr. West, the war is raging out of control and he and Dr. Abbott are forced to flee before they can try any more experiments. 

Back in the United States, the doctors make the unexpected decision to return to their old hospital. Somehow the two have managed to not be blamed for what happened at their former medical school and no one seems at all bothered by them being back at their former hospital. Well, no one except a disgraced Police Detective, Detective Chapham (Claude Earl Jones), who claims to have lost his partner to the massacre 8 months earlier. Also the detective's wife is among those that were left behind as zombies. 

Find my full length review at Horror.Media 

Classic Movie Review House Party 3

House Party 3 (1994) 

Directed by Eric Meza

Written by David Toney, Takashi Bufford 

Starring Christopher 'Kid' Reid, Christopher 'Play' Martin, Bernie Mac 

Release Date January 12th, 1994 

Published January 17th, 2024

A third film in the charming and funny House Party franchise should have been an open goal kick. It should have been a sure bet to a sweet, funny, silly, celebration of fun and hip hop. And yet, somehow, they managed to muck it up. Whether stars Kid N' Play felt they need to prove how 'hard' they are after being labeled as soft based on the first two movies or the rappers got bad advice from the creative team of Eric Meza, David Toney, and Takashi Bufford, who went on to not work in feature films again, House Party 3 turned a charming franchise into a curdled exercise in toxic masculinity and male insecurity. 

House Party 3 centers on a bachelor party for the soon to married Kid (Christopher Reid). Having moved on from his college girlfriend, played in each of the first two films by Tisha Campbell, Kid is set to marry Veda (Angela Means). This is despite the protests of Kid's pal, Play (Christopher Martin), who can't stop talking about how Kid is giving up his freedom and will miss out on sleeping with an unending number of women he's been taking advantage of via their mostly failing music management company. 

That's truly the one joke that repeats throughout House Party 3, getting married is a mistake because there are so many other women to sleep with. It's the same pathetic joke over and over again ad nauseum. I've never understood these jokes about what a burden being married is. Do married men understand that getting married is a choice? You can choose to not get married. I've done it for 47 years. I've managed to go all of my life without being married. It's really not that hard. And yet, there are numerous movies, television shows and viral videos about men complaining about what being married prevents them from doing. 

But this lame joke isn't the only lame joke in House Party 3, it's merely the most prominent. The other jokes center on the memory loss that can come with old age as it appears Kid's grandmother is developing alzheimers and this is somehow a very funny joke to the filmmakers. She can't remember her grandson's fiancee, ho ho! She can't remember where the stairs are in her home, ha ha! She can't remember where she is when she's not home. Will the hilarity ever begin? It's not merely that the joke is insensitive, it's that this joke is never done in a way that's actually funny. 

Find my full length review at Geeks.Media