Movie Review: Ballistic Ecks vs Sever

Ballistic Ecks vs. Sever 

Directed by Kaos 

Written by Alan B. McElroy 

Starring Antonio Banderas, Lucy Liu, Gregg Henry, Ray Park, Talisa Soto 

Release Date September 20th, 2002 

Published September 19th, 2002 

Well I must admit I was growing complacent. After a series of good movies mixed with some average and below-average movies, I had forgotten about Hollywood’s ability to make truly horrible films. In the past month or so Hollywood had lulled me into a trance of average movies that left no impression, good or bad. The new movie, Ballistic: Ecks Vs Sever, woke me from this trance with the loudest, dumbest, most idiotic movie this side of Rollerball. The byzantine plot of Ballistic is too ridiculous to explain. From what I was able to deduce, Lucy Liu played Sever and Antonio Banderas played Ecks. Other than that I am at a loss to explain the stupidity that passes for a plot. 

There is something about a weapon that was stolen from a lab in Germany. The microscopic weapon can cause heart attacks if it gets into the bloodstream, I think. There is something about a little kid that Sever takes as a hostage, something about Ecks' wife who he thought was dead but wasn't and Gregg Henry as the villain named Gant. The amazing thing about Gant is the audience has no clue why he does what he does. The movie teases that he is some public official but for the life of me I can't figure it out. 

We know Gant and his men can manipulate the local law enforcement of Vancouver, British Columbia, though we don't know why. Gant's men interact with the FBI but it's implied that they aren't with the FBI. There is some organization called the DIA. Whatever that is, the move never explains. We do know Gant wants this weapon, the heart attack weapon. The trailer is a better source than the film if you want to make sense of the weapons ability. Apparently you get it inside someone then it lays dormant until you press a button and it kills him or her. How do you get it inside someone? You shoot them. Of course that kind of defeats the purpose of the weapon doesn't it? 

Maybe you can rationalize that somehow, but how do you explain that the weapon is made of metal. So you have given the head of state a heart attack but your weapon is inside the body and easily detected in the autopsy, once again defeating the implied purpose of the weapon, which I believe is supposed to go undetected. It doesn't matter. Ballistic: Ecks vs Sever is a mess, which is appropriate because a guy who was credited as Kaos directed it. The irony is thick. The film is essentially a series of large explosions and that's it. The story is nonexistent, the script is a joke, the actors are completely lost and that is the only thing the audience can really relate too. 

Poor Lucy Liu and poor Antonio Banderas. While they deserve to be criticized for just being involved in this mess, I don't blame them for its failure. Both stars are attractive and charismatic. Unfortunately the director doesn't care. The only thing Kaos is interested in is getting to the next explosion ASAP. 

The director especially abuses Lucy Liu. Liu is an actress, yet in the films entire running length Lucy has 7 lines of dialogue. SEVEN. I counted them. That is less than Arnold Schwarzenegger in Hercules in New York and he could barely speak English then. Why hire an actress like Liu for a role that could have easily been filled by a stuntwomen? 

Stuntman Ray Park is also singled out for abuse, he has more dialogue than Lucy Liu and his character only exists for the purpose of being killed by Liu in a karate fight. Then there is Gregg Henry as the villainous Gant. Henry does his job in workmanlike fashion, oozing slime and dripping with evil. Gant actually gives us insight into which star got top billing. You see, whichever star kills Gant is the one with top billing. I will leave the mystery.

The most amazing thing about Ballistic: Ecks vs. Sever is the director’s ability to combine an incomprehensible plot with plot devices more predictable than a calendar. That is a true accomplishment. Is Ecks Vs Sever the worst film of 2002? I'm not sure. Rollerball, Fear Dot Com and Tart have strong arguments for that title. Ecks Vs Sever will be near the top of the list that is for sure.