Movie Review: Drillbit Taylor

Drillbit Taylor (2008) 

Directed by Steven Brill

Written by Seth Rogen

Starring Owen Wilson, Leslie Mann, Danny McBride 

Release Date March 21st, 2008

Published March 21st, 2008

There are three different movies going amidst the chaos of the new comedy Drillbit Taylor. One is a retreaming of producer Judd Apatow and his writer pal Seth Rogan and their style of raunchy, genital based humor. Another is an Owen Wilson movie starring Wilson in his usual charming rogue comic persona. The last is the most distasterous, an Adam Sandler movie. Stephen Brill, Adam Sandler’s pal and director of Little Nicky and Mr. Deeds, attempts to force the disparate work of Apatow/Rogan, Owen Wilson and Brill’s brand of the Sandler schtick, sans Sandler, into Drillbit Taylor and the result is utterly brutal.

Owen Wilson stars as the title character in Drillbit Taylor, a homeless criminal who accepts a position as a bodyguard for three nerdy High School freshman being bullied by a nasty senior. Nate Hartley, Troy Gentile and David Dorfman play the desperate nerds Wade, Ryan and Emmit who need protection from Filkins (Alex Frost) who has decided to make their lives hell. Offering their whole allowances week after week in exchange protection, the best bodyguard they could afford is Drillbit who claims to be an ex-military ranger and hides his homelessness.

Initially, Drillbit just wants to rob the boys and sets about stealing their stuff under the guise of helping them. Eventually however, after seeing the boys get brutalized, he decides to train them to take care of themselves. His methods are a joke but damned if they don’t give the boys the confidence to stand up to Frost leading to an inevitable final confrontation.

As often is the case my description brings order to a plot where little order exists. Drillbit Taylor stops and starts and sputters through nearly two hours of unfunny violence and cruelty. The script by Seth Rogan and Kristofer Brown plays as if half finished, filled as it is with cliches like the clueless parents and uncaring teachers, just the kinds of characters Rogan and his co-writer pal Evan Goldberg avoided like the plague in his brilliant script for Superbad. Writing with another Apatow protege Kristofer Brown, with an alleged touch up by the legendary John Hughes, the script for Drillbit Taylor features strongly sympathetic kid characters who unfortunately are transported to the Adam Sandler movie world and are repeatedly abused until we just can’t watch, let alone laugh.

Stephen Brill’s direction has the subtlety and grace of an elephant on a frozen lake bed. Scenes slam into and bang off one another in a nearly random order early on as our heroes are kept from meeting Drillbit till the beginning of the films second act. More diversions keep Drillbit out of the school, where Wilson’s charming con man thrives ever so briefly as he romances Leslie Mann’s clueless teacher, until the third act. The third act which then takes forever to play out to a stunningly violent tet still predictable conclusion. .

What director Brill thinks is funny about the abuse he puts these poor kids through is an absolute puzzle. The film lingers on scenes of violence so ugly and scarring that that the movie loses touch with any sort of reality. Drillbit Taylor becomes merely a blunt instrument attempting to bludgeon audiences into submission. Meanwhile, as Steve Brill tries to bend Rogan and Brown’s characters and Wilson’s act to fit his Sandler movie mold it is as if Brill were bullying them into his movie.

Oddly enough dear reader, if Drillbit Taylor had starred Adam Sandler and not Owen Wilson, it might actually have come out better. Wilson simply isn’t cut out to play Drillbit who is called on to be a rude, uncaring, brute who learns to care. Wilson is better suited to playing con men with a heart of gold who can only be redeemed by a good woman as he was in Wedding Crashers or The Big Bounce (not a great movie, but not bad either). No, Drillbit is perfectly suited to Sandler’s manchild, raging id persona who can be believable as an uncaring jerk, as a brutish enforcer and as the teddy bear who learned a valuable lesson.

That is likely due to the direction of Brill who has only really known how to direct Sandler. He was at a loss trying to find a Sandler-esque character in the dismal 2005 comedy Without A Paddle and he is further at a loss in trying to turn Drillbit Taylor into a Sandler movie without Sandler. What you get when he attempts to bend Rogan, Apatow and Wilson to his will is a trainwreck of slapstick violence, low key deadpan and genital based character humor. Oh what an ugly wreck it is.