Movie Review Waiting for Dali

Waiting for Dali (2024) 

Directed by David Pujol

Written by David Pujol, Miguel Garcia Navarette

Starring Jose Garcia, Ivan Massague, Clara Ponsot

Release Date June 18th, 2024

Published June 18th, 2024

The story of Waiting for Dali begins in Barcelona, Spain, in 1974 with a revolution in progress. Workers at a local restaurant have joined a revolution against the Spanish government and are now facing persecution.  Albert0 (Pol Lopez) and his brother, the second top chef at their restaurant, Fernando (Ivan Massague), have no choice but to turn to a mutual friend and fellow revolutionary, Francois (Nicholas Cazale) for help. 

Francois's plan has the trio travel to the small Spanish village of Cadaques where Alberto and Fernando will have to swallow their pride and take work in a kitchen that is not under their leadership. It's an especially big step down for Fernando who was making a name for himself as a French cuisine expert in Barcelona. Now, he's a prep cook at a seaside restaurant called El Surreal. The owner, Jules (Jose Garcia), built the restaurant solely on the hope that one day he might get the famed artist, Salvador Dali to eat there.

Cadaques in 1974 was centered entirely around Salvador Dali who chose the town as his home. Dali's blessing was a make-or-break proposition for any business in town. Thus, when Jules opened his seaside restaurant, he hung his hopes on getting Dali to eat there. Each day, Jules ventures into the main part of town in hope of getting the famed artist to take his menu or try some free food. And each time, he's unable to get anywhere near Dali. Much to his dismay. 

Find my full-length review linked here. 

Movie Review Borderlands

Borderlands (2024) 

Directed by Eli Roth 

Written by Eli Roth, Joe Crombie

Starring Cate Blanchett, Kevin Hart, Ariana Greenblatt Jack Black, 

Release Date August 8th, 2024 

Published August 8th, 2024 

Borderlands is a bad movie in the least interesting way. Take, for instance, Trap, M. Night Shyamalan’s most recent film, as of this writing. I’m mildly obsessed with Trap. That is a film that is bad in a very interesting way. Trap is misbegotten. It’s a failure in every possible way but it's ambitious and unique while being objectively bad. Borderlands, on the other hand, is bad in ways that are indistinguishable from other movies. It’s boring, it’s derivative, and, despite an all-star cast and a video game playground, it lacks personality. 

Cate Blanchett stars in Borderlands as Lilith, an intergalactic bounty hunter who plays by her own rules. If I had a nickel for every time a movie had a character like Lilith, I’d have enough to open a savings account at a local bank that comfortably accrues interest over time. Borderlands is boring in the same way that local banking with a small amount of money is boring. Lilith isn’t a character, she’s a collection of traits that look good in a trailer. She’s got an odd haircut, she’s sexy because Cate Blanchett is objectively sexy, and she shoots first and asks questions later just like every other cliche badass sci-fi character. (Yawn). 

Lilith is an anti-hero because she takes money from an evil corporate guy, Edgar Ramirez, making bank on being the most basic-bitch, go-to bad guy in Hollywood, to find his daughter. She’s the key to an ancient blah blah blah on some distant yadda, yadda, yadda. You get the gist. Ariana Greenblatt plays Tina, the daughter in question. Tina has been kidnapped by a mercenary named Roland (Kevin Hart) , former employee of the boring corporate villain, who is perhaps also seeking the magic whatever it is on the wasteland planet something or other. 

Find my full-length review linked here. 

Movie Review The Substance.

The Substance (2024)

Directed by Coralie Fargeat

Written by Coralie Fargeat

Starring Demi Moore, Margaret Qualley, Dennis Quaid

Release Date September 20th, 2024

Published September 19th, 2024

The Substance is one of the best movies that I have ever seen. It's the best movie of 2024, so far. And I do not recommend that you go and see it. I understand that that is a strange series of sentences, a legit dichotomy. How can I say that a movie is among the best that I have ever seen and in the same paragraph not recommend that you go and see it? I will try my best to unpack these seemingly opposing thoughts.

The Substance stars Demi Moore as Elisabeth Sparkles, a fitness guru of many years' experience. Imagine Jane Fonda from the 80s, including her Academy Award winning acting career and you have the basic template for Elisabeth Sparkle. Though she looks incredible for her age, she's being pushed out of her fitness empire by a sleazy male executive, played by Dennis Quaid at his most ingeniously grotesque.

After surviving a horrifying car accident, almost unscathed, Elisabeth is recommended a special treatment called The Substance. Essentially, The Substance will create a youthful doppelganger who will share Elisabeth's life, splitting things 7 days at a time. With The Substance, Elisabeth brings her younger, supposedly better, self to life in the form of Sue, (Margaret Qualley). She's Elisabeth but with the pert, supple, and perfect body of a twenty-something.

For seven days this younger, allegedly better, version of Elisabeth will get to do all of the things that societal expectations, and stereotypical perceptions prevent Elisabeth from doing. This includes taking Elisabeth's former job as a TV fitness guru, sought after as a model and an actress. All the while, the mysterious people behind The Substance offer only dire warnings about consequences if Elisabeth/Sue fail to adhere to the strict rules of The Substance.

Well, of course, they don't follow the rules and, of course, there are consequences. My friend, dear reader, you are not prepared for the consequences of breaking the rules of The Substance. I am a veteran moviegoer. I have been doing this more than 30 years. I have seen some things at the movies. I've not seen anything quite like The Substance. The body horror of The Substance is terrifying, gut-wrenching, and extreme. It's justifiably extreme, but extreme may be an understatement for just how effective the body horror in The Substance truly is.

I've never been physically ill while watching a movie, but The Substance had me on the edge. In the end, I suffered a pretty serious panic attack and, as I write this, I am still recovering from seeing The Substance. Only my therapist will truly be able to help me unpack the feelings inspired by The Substance. This movie ripped into my psyche and found fears and anxieties that I didn't know I had regarding aging and my feelings and fears for the women in my life who have endured the intense, scrutinizing gazes that I've never had to endure.

I am speaking only as myself, other men may feel that they have been scrutinized over their bodies and their attractiveness, that's never been my experience. I can't say I am comfortable with my body, but I have never felt the kind of penetrating gaze that comes with people openly assessing, describing and feeling perfectly justified in sharing their feelings about the way I look. That's a privilege I've had as a pretty average looking duded. Demi Moore, on the other hand, none of us can begin to relate to her experience in the public eye.

Reflexively, many men will accuse Demi Moore of asking for it, asking for the attention and scrutiny of her looks. That's true but only to a point. If you say she was asking for the level of obsession with her looks that came with her remarkable fame in the 80s and 90s, you're out of your mind and merely trying to hand wave away the hard and deeply revealing conversation to be had about the way our culture dissects and inspects women's attractiveness in public spaces.

Casting Demi Moore as Elisabeth Sparkle is a master stroke that takes The Substance from being a great movie to a masterpiece. Not only is Demi Moore an incredible actor, but her lived experience in being one of the most scrutinized human beings in the world brings a disturbing verisimilitude to The Substance. Demi Moore's bold, brave, raw performance is an all timer. If she doesn't win an Academy Award for her work in The Substance it will be a grave injustice.

And I can say the same about her remarkable other half, Margaret Qualley. Qualley, ever an actress who is up for anything after working with the likes of Yorgos Lanthimos, Clair Denis, and Quentin Tarantino, goes even further in her fearless approach to exploring characters in The Substance. Qualley's particular talent in The Substance is laying the groundwork for her co-star's performance. Qualley and Moore don't spend much time in the same scene but in playing the same character in very different context, Qualley is incredible at creating the space that Moore will explore in other scenes. That's an underappreciated talent.

As I said, I believe The Substance is the best movie of 2024 and one of my new favorite movies ever. And I will never be able to sit through it again. This movie was emotionally exhausting. The excruciating details in the production design and the sound design are breathtaking and also way to effective. It's literally too good. I feel like some people won't be able to handle just how effective some of this stuff really is. I don't want to spoil any aspect of this for someone who wants this experience that I had but I want to help those who may not be able to handle this by giving you an example of what you are in for.

There is an early scene in The Substance, before the 'Substance' of the title has actually been fully introduced. It's a scene in a restaurant where Dennis Quaid's slimeball executive is firing Elisabeth without actually saying he's firing her. Throughout the scene, Quaid is eating shrimp, and the camera is in a deep, fish-eye close up of his face and mouth. The sound is getting every noise of chewing, crunching, swallowing and lip-smacking as he licks his fingers and dribbles food back onto his plate, his messy fingers throwing little bits of shrimp and sauce as he gestures. For me, this is a horror greater than any Saw movie has demonstrated.

And that's an early scene in The Substance. There is still plenty of extreme body horror to come after that that I won't go into. I could write a lengthy essay on just the food horror of The Substance as director Coralie Fargeat uses food so effectively that more than 12 hours after seeing the movie, my appetite has not returned. Elisabeth is gifted a French Cookbook in the movie and where many other movies have turned such food into works of art, The Substance turns food into horror that could put David Cronenberg off his dinner.

Writer-Director Coralie Fargeat is an auteur of the highest order. She's made a movie in The Substance that hit me harder than any movie I've ever seen. I will never forget seeing the movie Midsommar for the first time and feeling like I had seen movies for the first time again. The Substance gave me that same feeling, as if I am seeing movies with new eyes. I feel as if I walked into The Substance as one person and I came out a very different person. This comes not just from the remarkably horrifying visuals but equally from the grotesque sights and the depth of the ideas.

Click here for my full-length review.