Movie Review Stolen Summer

Stolen Summer (2002) 

Directed by Pete Jones 

Written by Pete Jones 

Starring Aidan Quinn, Bonnie Hunt, Kevin Pollak, Brian Dennehy 

Release Date March 22nd, 2002 

Published November 14th, 2002 

Ben Affleck and Matt Damon's Project Greenlight attempted to combine the reality TV genre with the art of filmmaking and the result was Pete Jones's childhood drama `` Stolen Summer. But was Project Greenlight a success?

The film stars previously unknown child actor Adiel Stein as Pete O'Malley, a misguided second grader who is concerned that he won't get into heaven. So Pete sets out on a quest and after he finds out that the Jewish people in his neighborhood weren't interested in being saved he sets about trying to convert them. Pete's theory is if he can help Jews get to heaven he can get himself in. So Pete sets up a lemonade stand outside the local synagogue to give away lemonade and talk about heaven. The Rabbi of the synagogue is Rabbi Jacobsen (Kevin Pollak) who finds Pete to be a little curious and after speaking to him takes to the odd little boy. Rather than being upset by the boy or trying in vain to explain the Jewish faith he simply accepts the kid's quest and figures he'll grow out of it.=

Aiden Quinn plays Pete's domineering father Joe who doesn't have time to keep track of what Pete's doing, with his job and seven other children. Pete's mother (Bonnie Hunt) is tolerant of it as long as he doesn't get in trouble. After a fire at the Jacobsen home where Joe saves the Rabbi's son Danny (MIke Weinberg), Pete strikes up a friendship with Danny while Rabbi Jacobsen seeks a way to repay Joe for saving his son. 

We quickly learn there is something wrong with Danny and it's revealed that he has leukemia, for Pete this means he has to find a quick way to get his friend into heaven. Since neither knows anything about religious conversion they agree on a series of athletic events, swimming, running and the like. Meanwhile Rabbi Jacobsen wants to pay back Joe's good deed by awarding Joe's oldest son Patrick (American Pie's Eddie Kaye Thomas) a college scholarship from the synagogue. Joe's pride however will not allow him to accept it to the great dismay of his son and his wife. Does Joe's pigheadedness come from anti-Semitism or just pride, we aren't certain.

So this is it, this is the best material of all the 7500 plus screenplays submitted. This is the one. It's not a bad screenplay, but it's not great either. The film has the feeling of a better than average TV movie. It is certainly not as interesting as the documentary of the film's creation which aired on HBO. The series Project Greenlight had all the best and worst elements of reality TV, short of having people voted off the set. The film Stolen Summer has none of that intrigue or passion. A production so fraught with drama should produce a better film than a movie that could fit easily into the wonderful world of Disney.

I will say this for Pete Jones and his crew, Stolen Summer is a technically solid film. The acting is sharp amongst the older actors, Pollak especially. Hunt and Quinn could do this material in their sleep, and to their credit they stay awake and give strong performances. Watching Aiden Quinn in Stolen Summer does make you long for the jerk he showed himself to be behind the scenes, the bravado, the backstabbing, the "why in the hell am I here?"

In the end the film is swallowed by the TV series and rather than watching Stolen Summer, audience members spend most of the film searching for the cracks in the armor that were obvious in the making of the documentary. We watched the film's one special effects scene to see if it turned out better than it did on TV. We watched the scene with the kids swimming knowing that it took forever to shoot and that the kids were freezing cold. The audience is unable to separate the film and its production and thus the film gets lost.

Movie Review: Feel the Noise

Feel the Noise (2007)

Directed by Alejandro Chomski 

Written by Albert Leon 

Starring Omarion, Malik Yoba, Victor Rasuk, Jennifer Lopez, Zulay Henao 

Release Date October 5th, 2007

Published October 5th 2007 

There is a reason some films aren't screened for critics and the most prominent reason is, the filmmakers know the film stinks. That must have been the case for the new rap drama Feel The Noise which was held from critics despite the quality assuring imprimatur of producer Jennifer Lopez. The career freefall of the once hot Ms. Lopez already consumed the Hector Lavoe biography El Cantante earlier this year.

Now Lopez throws some cold water on the burgeoning career of rapper/dancer Omarion. Casting the You Got Served star as an aspiring Puerto Rican hip hop star, Omarion is just one of the many failures of the terrifically awful Feel The Noise.

Rob (Omarion) can't stay out of trouble. When he tries to steal the hubcaps of a well known gang member, his mother sends him to Puerto Rico to live with his estranged father (Giancarlo Esposito). Grumpy about having to leave the bright lights of New York City, Rob makes things miserable in Puerto Rico until he meets his half brother Javi (Victor Rasuk) who introduces him to Puerto Rico's version of hip hop called Raggaeton.

Soon Rob and Javi are recording their own Puerto Rican hip hop tracks and are getting discovered by a shady New York producer who likes their music but really has his eyes on Rob's new girlfriend C.C (Zulay Henao). The producer takes all three back to New York where stardom awaits. Or not, who knows.

The title Feel The Noise has absolutely nothing to do with the story being told in Feel The Noise. There is a night club in Puerto Rico called The Noise, but other than that, I can't figure where this title came from. If only this nonsense title were this films biggest problem. Unfortunately, Feel The Noise features supremely dull characters, cinematography that looks as if it were captured on a cellphone and one of the worst scripts this side of Mariah Carey's Glitter.

I mention Glitter because Feel The Noise mimics that films rags to riches in the music biz story but without the so bad it's kind of entertaining vibe. Feel The Noise is just bad, bad, bad.

The script for Feel The Noise, written by Albert Leon, is singularly brutal. How's this for a rousing, compelling exhange:

C.C: Come have a cigarette with me

Rob: OK

CC: I don't actually smoke

Rob: Me neither

Woody Allen eat your heart out. With ear popping dialogue like that it's no wonder Feel The Noise is so darn compelling. The dialogue is aided by a performance by Omarion that could not be more bored distracted. Though he wasn't half bad in the dance drama You Got Served, Omarion is not much of an actor. Saddled with a script as god awful as Feel The Noise, Omarion's many faults are highlighted and exposed.  

Worse yet is the music of Omarion in Feel The Noise. His attempts at typical hip hop in the first act and Raggaeton in the second and third act are all just awful. The star of the movie is shown up badly by Raggaeton pro's like Julio Voltio Ramos who captures what I'm sure everyone involved with Feel The Noise wanted to capture with Omarion's character, the rich, vibrant, hip shaking sound of Raggaeton which matches the lyricism and  flow of hip hop with the rhythm and speed of latin music.

It's likely that for the money it took to make Feel The Noise there could have been a documentary on Voltio Ramos. His Raggaeton raps are, all too briefly, the only entertaining moments in the otherwise drab and dull melodramatic morass that is Feel The Noise.

Movie Review Hustlers

Hustlers (2019) 

Directed by Lorene Scafaria 

Written by Lorene Scafaria 

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Constance Wu, Julia Stiles, Keke Palmer, Lizzo, Cardi B 

Release Date September 13th, 2019

Published September 12th, 2019 

On the one hand, the strippers of the new movie Hustlers are criminals, unquestionably, they are criminals. However, it’s fair to also state that they are not the villains of this movie either. Hustlers operate in a most amazing gray area where we are able to sympathize with criminals and lustily boo the victims who are stand-ins for the real criminals who tanked the American economy in 2007 amid the housing crisis. 

Hustlers capitalizes on some of the tastiest schadenfreude you can imagine by positing a story wherein: too rich for their own good Wall Street criminals get taken for thousands of dollars of the money they stole from others by those who would otherwise be on the other end of the economic spectrum, a diverse collection of women and specifically single mothers in J-Lo and Constance Wu’s characters. 

It’s hard not to take pleasure in watching these skeevy, criminal pigs get taken by the very people they intend to victimize with their ill-gotten gains. It’s not justice that would be found in creating a just and fair economic system free from the kind of thumb on the scale manipulation that these men have championed, but it’s a tasty bit of minor karmic retribution that feels good, like a cookie for the soul. 

Constance Wu stars in Hustlers as Dorothy or, on stage, Destinee. Dorothy is struggling to get by as one of the new girls at a high roller strip club in New York City. Her commute is barely worth the pittance in tips she walks away with after management and the rest of the support staff take their cut. Then, Dorothy meets the club’s Queen Bee, Ramona Vega (Jennifer Lopez). Ramona has the place wired to the point where she merely has to point her prominent backside in any direction and the room rains with money. 

Dorothy dreams of being like Ramona and after introducing herself, the two become inseparable. Ramona takes Dorothy under her wing, they perform together, and they begin making incredible amounts of money together. Dorothy and Ramona start living an extravagant life off of the money tossed at their feet by Wall Street jerks for whom such money is meaningless compared to the horrific lies they tell to earn it. 

Then, the housing crisis hit in 2008 and the gravy train came to a screeching halt. The club, once wall to wall with Wall Street money, is now nearly empty. Dorothy leaves to have a baby and get married, only to find her baby daddy is nearly as worthless as the Wall Street bros she once danced for and both she and Ramona are on the streets trying to find jobs in a real world that doesn’t exactly fit their very specific skill set. 

Then, Ramona hits on a plan: what if there were a way to get what’s left of the high rollers back to the club? Her idea? High end, designer drugs that ease the inhibitions and open the high rollers to suggestions such as allowing a stripper to run your credit card unmonitored. Using her vast connections, Ramona, with Dorothy in tow, recruits two other struggling dancers, played by Lily Reinhart and Keke Palmer, to drug rich men, carry them to the club, take their credit cards to the limit and send them home with the bill. 

That’s the premise of Hustlers but the payoff you will have to see for yourself. It’s not the destination that really matters in Hustlers, it’s the execution and the execution of Hustlers is top notch. Writer-director Lorene Scafaria has just the right touch for this material, lightly comic at times, self-serious when necessary, with just the right mix of dark comedy, sex and drama. It’s not a perfect movie, but it gets a strong point across. 

Jennifer Lopez has not been this great in a movie in years. Playing the heavy support to Constance Wu’s more meaty lead role, Lopez’s megawatt star power hasn’t been this notable since her pre-Gigli, pre-Jersey Girl, Jenny from the Block days. It’s refreshing to see Lopez so confident and relaxed on screen after suffering through years of her downplaying her remarkable beauty and presence in forgettable romantic comedies. 

Constance Wu, if she can get out from under her own ego,- note her tantrum over her TV show not being canceled and ugly demands on her place on the Hustlers promotional material- will be a big star one day. She has dramatic chops that can turn quickly and wittily comic. She’s a natural screen presence and quite a beauty when she gets out from under a bad wig. She’s overshadowed plenty by Lopez but few actresses would not be. That said, she doesn’t get lost in the glare of Lopez’s star power and proves herself as the dramatic lynchpin of this incredible and well told story. 

Hustlers is better than I expected from a movie that, in the wrong hands, could have been merely titillating. Instead, Hustlers is weighty, satirical, dramatic and quite funny, often within the range of a single scene. Don’t believe me? See Hustlers and watch the Usher Raymond cameo and you will get what I am saying about the remarkable range of this diverse and exciting movie. Hustlers is the great surprise at the movies in 2019.

Movie Review Jersey Girl

Jersey Girl (2004) 

Directed by Kevin Smith

Written by Kevin Smith

Starring Ben Affleck, Jennifer Lopez, Will Smith, George Carlin, Liv Tyler, Raquel Castro 

Release Date March 26th, 2004 

Published March 25th, 2004 

Screw Gigli

In my review of Gigli, I must admit a good deal of my venom can be attributed to the effect that dog was going to have on Kevin Smith's Jersey Girl. With moron entertainment writers attempting to consume Ben Affleck and Jennifer Lopez, any chance Jersey Girl had at reaching the wide audience it so richly deserved was lost. The only comfort is that great movies are never appreciated in their time. Jersey Girl, Kevin Smith's most mature and blatantly romantic film, will play endlessly on TV where casual movie watchers will have the chance to discover this egregiously overlooked, wonderfully heartfelt film.

Ben Affleck stars as Oliver Trinke, a big time P.R guy. Ollie has bigtime clients for whom he crafts terrific lies, manipulations and exultations. On the bright side Ollie is honest, even lovable in his private life where he has big love with Gert (Jennifer Lopez). When Ollie takes Gert home to Highlands New Jersey to meet his father Bart (George Carlin) she passes the final test and he asks her to marry him. It's not long before she is pregnant and the couple’s happiness seems unending.

However this is only 15 minutes into the movie, obviously something big has to happen. While giving birth to her daughter Gert has an aneurysm and dies. Ollie is devastated. Gert's death affects every aspect of his life. He neglects his baby, named Gertie for her mother, he alienates his father by dropping the baby on him while he goes back to work. And finally in one devastating moment of truth, Ollie blows up at work and is out of a job.

Seven years later Ollie is living back in Jersey with his dad and instead of power lunches manipulating magazine editors, Ollie drives a street sweeper. He does have a much better perspective on his daughter Gertie (Raquel Castro) whom he is absolutely devoted to. Not just her though, the memory of his wife has held him back from any other woman for the past seven years. That changes when he meets Maya (Liv Tyler) , a video store clerk with a quirky straightforward manner that is disquieting and endearing at the same time.

The film’s main conflict arises from Ollie's desperate need to go back to the way things were before his wife died and his new reality in New Jersey. This is Kevin Smith's most mature and smart writing in his relatively short career. Taken from his own experience as a first time father (his daughter Harley has a blink and you'll miss it cameo), Smith writes from a knowing and observant perspective that feels as real as anything he wrote in the equally observant Chasing Amy.

Smith clearly loves this material and that feeling flows through every aspect of Jersey Girl from the actors who share his passion to the look of the film which is the most professional and tightly controlled of his career. I must admit however there is a part of me that longs for the grainy, misshapen, happenstance look that made Clerks and Chasing Amy feel so real life. This film is clearly the Hollywood dream factory of perfect architecture, makeup, lighting with far less of the lived-in feel of Smith's earlier films.

What is it with this hatred of Ben Affleck? No actor has had to suffer the kind of blatant jealous bile, other than maybe Tom Cruise. For me, Affleck can damn near do no wrong, I mean, I loved Daredevil! In Jersey Girl, much as Kevin Smith's direction feels more professional and mature, so does Affleck's performance which ranks right behind Chasing Amy as his best work. Watch his breakdown in the hospital and the speech to his baby daughter immediately after and I beg you to tell me how you cannot love this guy.

The supporting cast is also terrific, especially George Carlin as Bart. This is a performance that would garner some very good buzz if Gigli had not rendered this film dead on arrival. Liv Tyler sparks perfectly with Affleck as the free spirit with a big heart and a mouth with no filter. Unlike the game playing of most romantic comedy protagonists, Tyler's character says what she thinks and acts on it, a characteristic that helps make Jersey Girl so different from most mainstream films of its genre.

Young Raquel Castro is the real star of Jersey Girl. Once you get over the initial shock of how much she looks like Jennifer Lopez and you start watching her performance you forget she's acting. Those cute kid moments are there, but watch for a scene late in the movie after she and Ben have had a huge fight. The scene is one of forgiveness and great tenderness and she plays it so well.

Maybe I'm the wrong guy to review this movie. I am horribly biased in favor of Smith and Affleck and I have a connection to the film’s plot on an emotional level that affects my objectivity. When I had what I believed was my one true love, she died. Unlike Ollie in the movie, I was left with nothing to remember of her except the pain of the loss. Anyone who says that Affleck overplays the pain of that hospital scene doesn't know what he or she is talking about, they obviously have never lost someone they care about.

Sorry to get maudlin and personal but I always try to write from a very personal reference point and so a film like this has an inside track with me. All of that aside, I honestly loved this movie. Jersey Girl is funny, smart and sweet. Kevin Smith's writing has always been strong and here his direction is beginning to catch up with his writing. It's a shame he has passed on directing The Green Hornet but if it means another Clerks or another more romantic and personal film like Jersey Girl then maybe he and we are better off, though I think Green Hornet would kick ass.

Finally can we please lay off the Affleck bashing? If you don't like Affleck fine but I challenge you to listen to the commentary tracks on the Mallrats, Chasing Amy and Jersey Girl DVDs and come away still hating the guy. Face it Affleck is da bomb!

Movie Review The Back Up Plan

The Back Up Plan (2010) 

Directed by Alan Poul 

Written by Kate Angelo

Starring Jennifer Lopez, Alex O'Laughlin, Eric Christian Olsen, Anthony Anderson 

Release Date April 23rd, 2010

Published April 22nd, 2010 

It was the great Roger Ebert in his review of Rob Reiner's “North” who said "I hated, hated, hated. hated, hated, hated, hated this movie." I always thought I understood Roger's pain with the offal I have sifted through at the movie theater but until I saw the insipid, insulting and just plain awful “The Back Up Plan” starring Jennifer Lopez I did not truly understand how a bad movie can get under your skin.

The story of “The Back Up Plan,” such as it is from such a mindless screenplay, follows a woman named Zoe (Jennifer Lopez) who is one of those only in the movies cretins who despite beauty and inexplicable wealth cannot manage a personal life well enough to relate to another human being. Thus why, in her late 30's, she is undergoing artificial insemination.

To give you an idea of the intellect we are dealing with; as Zoe leaves the doctor's office after her insemination she keeps her knees together as she walks. Outside in the rain Zoe dances for a moment and then hails a cab. Once inside she is joined by Stan (Alex O'Loughlin) and each accuses the other of stealing their cab. This meet cute lasts as they both exit the cab, get on the subway and walk down the street sharing dialogue so inane as to render one unconscious.

They part as frenemies but soon are bumping into each other again and again before they realize they are meant to be. But, uh-oh, Zoe's pregnant. Will Stan want to be with a pregnant woman? Or will he run for the hills? Can Zoe overcome a tacked-on subplot about abandonment issues to let Stan really be with her? If you care I must ask that you exit this review right now.

My plot description does not do justice to the mess that “The Back Up Plan” truly is. Plot after plot, character after character, is shuffled into this ludicrous story only to be discarded without so much as a courtesy flush. Eric Christian Olson for one gets short-shrift as Zoe's employee; she owns a pet store that pays a living wage, yeah. Olson's Clive declines an offer to father Zoe's baby and then fades into the background occasionally playing a jealousy subplot that makes zero sense at all.

Tom Bosley and Linda Lavin are stuck with the idiot roles of old people who say and do things that you don't expect old people to do or say. Are you laughing? They're old but they talk like they're not old, get it? Ugh. Anthony Anderson an actor who stars on a hit TV series and has headlined movies of his own is here credited as Playground dad.

Anderson plays a character so spectacularly underwritten that they couldn't bother to name him. Playground Dad offers sage council to Stan when they happen upon each other at a Playground and Stan is accused of being a child predator. Funny right? Don't even bother mentioning the movie stereotype of the wise African American guru, expert on all things, who also fills in to allow a movie to fake multiculturalism.

Stereotypes are the hiding places of scoundrel screenwriters who lack the wit to write real characters, hence Zoe's single mom support group which over flows with stereotypes of Butch Lesbians who thankfully are not billed as Butch Lesbian Single Mom 1, 2 or 3.

Alex O'Loughlin is a nice looking but spectacularly forgettable actor who has starred on more failed CBS drama series than most actors see in a lifetime. Hollywood is determined to convince audiences they like Alex O'Loughlin and The Backup Plan is merely the latest, and unlikely, last attempt to make him a star. It's difficult to gauge O'Laughlin's actual talent. Judging him based on the moronic character he is given in The Back Up Plan seems terribly unfair.

Jennifer Lopez is a very beautiful woman. She has an unbelievable smile, great pipes and a body that just doesn't quit even after she gave birth to twins in real life two years ago. What a shame that she has zero taste in film scripts. Her career since her star-making performance in Steven Soderbergh’s “Out of Sight” has been a series of one blindingly awful movie after another. “The Back Up Plan” is arguably the worst of a lot that includes dregs like “Maid in Manhattan,” “The Wedding Planner” and “Monster In Law.”

Searching for something positive to say about “The Back Up Plan” I can think of only one thing: It can't likely get any worse than this. I am convinced that I have seen the worst Hollywood has to offer in 2010 and while I may be forced to eat those words- Hollywood's ability to scrape the bottom of the barrel and then lift the barrel is legendary- but that is how strongly I feel about how brutally, violently awful The “Back Up Plan” truly is.

Movie Review: Darkness Falls

Darkness Falls (2003) 

Directed by Jonathan Liebesman

Written by Joe Harris, James Vanderbilt, John Fasano

Starring Cheney Kley, Emma Caulfield, Sullivan Stapleton, Emily Browning

Release Date January 24th, 2003 

Published January 23rd 2003 

Horror films are allowed to set there own rules. Oftentimes a horror film will make up those rules as they go. However once those rules are in place violating those rules becomes one of the most disappointing aspects of that film. The latest addition to the horror genre, Darkenss Falls, sets it's own rules in the first five minutes of the film. It then sets about breaking those rules over and over again making for a maddening film-going experience.

The film begins with a prologue about an old woman named Matilda Dixon who lived in the seaside town of Darkness Falls, Maine. Matilda is beloved by the town's children because when they lost their teeth they could take them to Matilda and exchange then for a gold coin. After a fire severely burned Matilda's face she was unable to leave her home during daylight hours and when she did leave she wore a frightening porcelain mask. When two of the town's children go missing one night, Matilda is blamed and hanged but not before placing a curse on the town. The two kids were found the next day having ran away on their own.

We jump forward in time to a 12-year-old boy who has just lost his last baby tooth. The boy's name is Kyle Walsh. One night Kyle makes the mistake of looking into the eyes of the legend known as the Tooth Fairy. Now, one of the rules established early in the film is that if you looked in the eyes of Matilda's ghost she would hunt you until she killed you. Kyle's only savior is the a flashlight at his bedside. The tooth fairy is sensitive to light and when exposed is badly injured. Kyle's mother, not believing the legend, goes to his room to show Kyle there is nothing to be afraid of , and the tooth fairy slits her throat. Kyle is blamed for the murder and spends the next 12 years in a mental institute.

Cut to the present, Kyle is out of the institute but still afraid of the dark. Now living in Vegas, Kyle is on every medication known to man to deal with what he witnessed. Back in Darkness Falls, a young boy is experiencing the same behavior as Kyle. The young boy is Michael Greene and he is the brother of Kaitlin, who happens to have been Kyle's girlfriend, before his supposed psychotic episode. Kaitlin tracks down Kyle and asks for his help in treating Michael which brings Kyle back to Darkness Falls to face his fear.

Darkness Falls is a slowly paced, light-and-shadow thriller that has a few very effective moments. One that stands out is the opening ten minutes with a very well shot sequence of Kyle's mother being killed. However, after that the film comes apart, setting it's rules and then setting about breaking them, creating many a logical flaw that takes away from the film and really irks any intelligent filmgoer who is paying attention.

First, does the Tooth Fairy only kill you if you live in Darkness Falls or can you just leave and she stays there? If the Tooth Fairy can't go into the light then how is she with moonlight? If the Tooth Fairy is after Kyle, why does she kill a random drunk who was fighting with Kyle instead of going after Kyle?

Not that logic has it's place in most horror films but when rules are established in a horror film, violating those rules can be a film's biggest crime.

The film's premise is a hodgepodge of horror cliches lifted from such varied sources as Nightmare On Elm Street to the recently released They. The films biggest influence, the one it truly aspires to meet but fails to, is the moody atmospherics of a Stephen King novel. But what King is able to do with words, Darkness Falls is unable to do with images.

First time actor Chaney Kley plays Kyle and makes it look like Clonaid succeeded in cloning Mark Wahlberg. Though it's kind of like Michael Keaton in Multiplicity, Kley only got some of Wahlberg's talent and not the best of it. Buffy the Vampire Slayer's Emma Caulfield is a sexy, smart choice for a lead actress but saddled with a frightened victim role. In service of Kley she isn't given much to work with.

First-time director Jonathan Liebesman gives a good account of himself technically with an occasional scary setup but unfortunately his special effects and story are subpar. The Tooth Fairy character as created by Stan Winston's effects company is a dull recreation of horror characters past and the more screentime the monster logs, the more unscary it becomes. In interviews, the director said that the monster wasn't onscreen until the closing act but that the studio was so impressed they rolled out some cash for reshoots that bumped the films release date from mid-September to January and made the monster more prominent, which exposed it's flaws.

Whether the film was the victim of studio overkill or an inexperienced director, Darkness Falls is yet another unsuccessful horror film that strives for scares but can illicit only indifference.

Movie Review National Security

National Security (2003) 

Directed by Dennis Dugan 

Written by Jay Scherick

Starring Martin Lawrence, Steve Zahn, Colm Feore, Bill Duke, Eric Roberts, Timothy Busfield

Release Date January 17th, 2002

Published January 16th, 2002 

Oh boy. Another mismatched buddy cop movie!

National Security, starring Martin Lawrence and Steve Zahn is yet another formula action-comedy, but, for once, the comedy part of the action-comedy is actually funny.

Zahn is an LAPD officer named Hank. One night, he and his partner (Timothy Busfield in an effective cameo) happen upon a break in at a storage facility and, in their attempt to capture the criminals, Hank's partner is shot and killed. Martin Lawrence is Earl, an LAPD trainee who flunks out of the academy for being a little too aggressive. Hank and Earl meet for the first time as Hank comes upon Earl trying to retrieve his keys from his locked car. 

Thinking that Earl may be trying to steal the car, Hank asks for identification and proof of ownership of the car. Earl sees Hank's questions as racist and refuses, leading to a confrontation that is a parody of the Rodney King incident. A guy with a video recorder catches Hank trying to swat a bee that is flying around Earl's head. From the cameraman's perspective, it does look like Hank is beating Earl and, when the incident goes to trial, Earl does nothing to change that perception. Hank is convicted of assault, fired from his job, and is sentenced to six months in jail.

Once released from jail, Hank takes a job working as a security guard while searching for the group of bad guys who killed his partner. As fate would have it, Hank's search leads him to a warehouse where Earl works as a security guard and the two team up in a gunfight against the bad guys. The bad guys, lead by--of all people--Eric Roberts, get away and Earl and Hank are now forced to team up and take them down. Unsurprisingly, they become friends in the process.

Director Dennis Dugan, a master of formula trash (Happy Gilmore, Saving Silverman), is the perfect choice to direct this collection of action clichés and one liners. All you need is a director who can make a certain scene reasonably in frame and you're done.

What makes National Security a little better than most films of its formula is its humor, which deals frankly with race and violence and is funny. Lawrence is particularly sharp with the racial humor and Zahn is a surprisingly good foil. If it weren't for Zahn's ridiculously distracting facial hair I would have loved his performance, but I missed some of it watching his mustache come loose or fall off.

National Security has the feel of Lawrence's other slickly produced action comedies--Blue Streak and Bad Boys--except not as stylish. National Security is technically well produced but is all surface and no depth. In case you were wondering the answer is yes, there is a scene where the heroes outrun a giant fireball. You can't make a formula action movie without a slow motion fireball.