Movie Review Suspect Zero

Suspect Zero (2004) 

Directed by E Elias Merhige

Written by Zak Penn, Billy Ray 

Starring Aaron Eckhardt, Ben Kingsley, Carrie Ann Moss

Release Date August 27th, 2004

Published August 26th, 2004

“Remote viewing” is something fans of late night radio host Art Bell are very familiar with. The CIA is rumored to have used remote viewing to locate dangerous criminals until the concept was found unreliable. Remote viewing is essentially a psychic phenomenon. Viewers claim to be able to find people using only their mind, describing what they see by drawing a picture with their eyes closed.

While remote viewing has been debunked, see Penn & Teller's brilliant "Bullshit" series, it does make an interesting plot for a movie. Suspect Zero, starring Aaron Eckhart and Ben Kingsley, makes good use of it as a plot point but a weak performance from Eckhart is the film’s undoing.

Eckhardt stars as FBI agent Thomas Mackelway, recently returned to duty after a suspension. Mackelway had once been a top guy in the bustling Dallas office but now has been busted down to the relatively mundane Albuquerque office. As he's settling in to what he thinks will be a pretty dull gig he gets a big case, a murder that places the body directly on the New Mexico-Texas border.

Because the body is on the border, it is a federal investigation. The murder has the telltale signs of a serial killer. Numerous markings, a strange symbol (a zero with a line through it), and the victims eyelids have been cut off. The capper though is that, like most movie serial killers, the killer has specifically chosen Mackelway to be his opponent in a murderous game of cat and mouse.

Ah, but this film is a little more complex than other films of its genre. Our killer, Benjamin O'Ryan (Kingsley) has chosen his victims because they are serial killers. One of the victims happens to be the reason why Mackelway just got off suspension, he attacked the man and thus he got off on a technicality until O'Ryan came along and killed him. The manipulation here is pretty good; you sympathize with O'Ryan because he is killing bad guys.

O'Ryan tracks the killers through remote viewing, a skill he developed as an agent of the FBI. O'Ryan believes that Mackelway may have the gift as well. O'Ryan wants Mackelway to help him track down a killer he calls suspect zero, a killer who has killed indiscriminately across the entire country with no serial pattern. This suspect zero, O'Ryan believes, may be responsible for most of the unsolved murders in the country.

The film was directed by E. Elias Merhige, whose Shadow Of The Vampire was a quiet success back in 2000. Here his direction lacks the precision of Shadow. He falls way too in love with moving his camera, neglecting at times to secure it before moving it on a dolly, thus the camera shakes to distraction. Merhige uses way too many super tight close-ups, so close you can count nose hairs. Thankfully, toward the end of the film, Merhige's direction becomes tighter and the final 20 minutes get real good.

The most glaring problem of the film is star Aaron Eckhardt whose performance is uncertain and imprecise. It may be more the fault of Zak Penn's script for underwriting the character but clearly the character is off balance the entire film. The subplot about Mackelway possibly having the gift of remote viewing is never resolved though he spends a good deal of energy selling the pain of the migraines and visions that accompany the gift.

Also, hasn't this guy ever heard of the Internet? How is there not one computer in the entire FBI office? There is also a throwaway romantic plot with a former girlfriend and partner played by Carrie Ann Moss that just seems rote and unnecessary.

Who can blame Zak Penn for underwriting Eckhart's character when Ben Kingsley's O'Ryan is such a great part to write for? Kingsley is becoming known for strong performances in weak films, even earning an Oscar nomination for the over-hyped Sexy Beast. He's even not horrible in Thunderbirds where his righteous overacting is at least worth a few chuckles. Here he is riveting and more than believable as a man who has seen too many horrible things.

There is something so seedy and yet appealing about vigilante justice. You can't say it's okay to kill people but when O'Ryan comes upon a serial rapist, beats the hell out of him and kills him, you can't help but pause for a moment and think it's not so bad. I always love movies that test the limits of my morality, and sense of right and wrong and Suspect Zero does that.

I wish I could give Suspect Zero a full recommendation but that is impossible when the lead character just doesn't work. On the strength of Ben Kingsley's performance and the very good final reel, I can give Suspect Zero a partial recommendation.

Movie Review: Fair Game

Fair Game (2010) 

Directed by Doug Liman

Written by Jez Butterworth, Jon Butterworth

Starring Naomi Watts, Sean Penn, Noah Emmerich, Ty Burrell, Michael Kelly 

Release Date October 1st, 2010

Published October 2nd, 2010 

Is it just me or does the American left wing love remembering their failures? Whether it's Paul Greengrass in “Green Zone” relieving many of the massive intelligence failures that slipped past us during the Iraq war or Doug Liman building a lovely monument to our ignorance of the truths uncovered by Ambassador Joe Wilson in “Fair Game,” we cannot seem to get enough of reminding ourselves how powerless and ignorant we were.

The left loves mulling over it's failures and “Fair Game” is nothing short of a commemorative plaque to failure, a paean to blithe ignorance and a testament to the left's love of pointlessly re-living the past while ignoring the present and failing the future. Oh and I haven't even yet mentioned director Doug Liman who apparently must have been made quite ill by what he found in the story of Valerie Plame as his camera whips and sways about like vertigo patient off of his meds.

Valerie Plame (Naomi Watts), for those who are somehow still ignorant, was a CIA agent working on intelligence in the run up to the war with Iraq. We pick up her story in that brief respite from September 11th, the bombing of Afghanistan and the rather bizarre decision to attack Iraq. Plame was working around the globe all the while returning home on weekends for dinners with friends and nights with her former Ambassador husband, Joe Wilson (Sean Penn) and two children.

When the White House made the attention shift to Iraq Plame was among the working class analysts who looked at the data with zero agenda and offered sane sound evidence. Among the many intelligence gathering tasks Plame's group was assigned were allegations that Saddam Hussein was attempting to buy Yellow Cake Uranium from the tiny African nation of Niger, not to be confused with Nigeria; two different places.

Knowing that her husband had contacts and experience in the region from his time in the Ambassador corps; Plame recommended Joe be sent to meet with a group put together by the Vice President who then sent Wilson to Niger on a fact finding mission. That mission revealed that Niger had almost zero capability of transporting the alleged materials if indeed they ever had such things.

Meanwhile, Valerie's own intelligence gathering seemed to uncover that Iraq barely had the weapons to rub two sticks together let alone create a working nuclear program. The greatest danger in the country lay with the scientists from the long defunct nuke program whose knowledge and capability might be valuable to another more viable enemy such as neighboring Iran or even North Korea.

Valerie was on task to gather many of these scientists to bring to the US when all hell broke loose. Watching helplessly as the White House ignored and distorted evidence he had gathered, Joe Wilson took to the op-ed pages and the Sunday talk shows to reveal the lies of the Bush Administration. In retaliation a coterie of Bush henchman including Richard Armitage, Karl Rove and fall guy Scooter Libby leaked the name of Joe's wife and set off a tidal wave of lies that likely lead to more death and future instability in the Middle East.

Sounds like a wonderful narrative for the American left doesn't it? Well, it's not so much a narrative, that's what truly happened. Wilson, Plame and numerous others told us this was happening as it was happening and have since written comprehensive non-fiction accounts of it all. We simply were not listening. Now, Doug Liman offers “Fair Game” and because it is such a lazy, slipshod effort we will continue not listening.

”Fair Game” offers nothing new to the story of Valerie Plame, nothing that those already interested in her story don't already know and nothing that anyone opposed to the Plame 'version' will willingly listen to. It's great to have yet another pop cultural recording of our failure to stop the war in Iraq but like Paul Greengrass's “Green Zone,” we needed this movie five years ago.

We needed movies like “Fair Game” when John Kerry was being beaten in a must win 2004 election. We needed movies like “Fair Game” when people on our side of the argument like then Senator Hillary Clinton voted to send us to Iraq.

We knew then, even before Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame were being dragged through the mud that we were being lied to and we did little to nothing to oppose it. “Fair Game” would be worthy now if it offered some object lesson for us to learn from. This would be a worthy effort if it gave us something useful to carry forward. Instead, “Fair Game” is merely a checklist of our failures recounted with tremendous historical accuracy.

And then there is the bizarre direction of Doug Liman, one of our finest action directors (Mr. and Mrs. Smith, Bourne Supremacy, Bourne Ultimatum) who battles the straight drama of “Fair Game” with an action directors eye. Using a handheld camera, Liman acted as his own Cinematographer and attempts to give us a firsthand point of view of the events inside the Plame-Wilson household.

It’s a bold experiment except that Liman’s idea of a firsthand account is a whipsaw move of the camera from one character to the next as if we were strapped to the back of a fly on the wall. Bring your sea-sickness meds, especially for the dinner party scenes where Liman attempts to take on the perspective of every character at the table in very short order.

Late in the movie, in a quiet scene between Penn's Joe Wilson and Watt's Valerie Plame, Liman's camera can barely stay still to keep Ms. Watts in frame. Yet, in the next moment it is trained almost perfectly on Mr. Penn as if the actor, who is a fine director in his own right, demanded Mr. Liman pauses while filming him.

There is a scene between Watts and Sam Shepard who plays Valerie Plame's father where the director actually seems to have left in a frame where someone off screen bumped the camera knocking both actors almost completely out of frame. Whether this is some sort of cinema verite experiment or just plain laziness is anyone's guess.

I truly despise much of “Fair Game.” As someone who opposed the war in Iraq from day one I am tired of reliving our failure to prevent this massive screw up. It's done, millions of Iraqis are dead, hundreds of thousands of our soldiers are dead and no one, not even the beloved President Obama, can give us a reason why or voice any kind of proper outrage about it.

Joe Wilson and Valerie Plame have tired of the topic. Having moved from Washington after writing their books they are content to leave it all behind. Their approach is my approach. Unless you can show me something new, a lesson that we can pass on from this devastating, destructive, nearly decade long failure that is Iraq, I am simply not interested. “Fair Game” is irrelevance in film form.

Movie Review: Firewall

Firewall (2006) 

Directed by Richard Loncraine

Written by Joe Forte

Starring Harrison Ford, Paul Bettany, Virginia Madsen, Mary Lyn Rajskub, Robert Patrick, Robert Forster, Alan Arkin

Release Date February 10th, 2006 

Published February 9th, 2006 

It's been a tough millenium for Harrison Ford. Since the year 2000 the man who was once our number one action star has had one hit movie, 2000's What Lies Beneath. Ford has worked sparingly since, and each of his three projects has been creakier and more tired than the last. In 2002,  K-19: The Widowmaker featured Ford with an embarrassing Russian accent in a film that was otherwise entirely forgettable.

Hollywood Homicide (2004) was meant to share some of Ford's action-star status with Josh Hartnett. That slipshod effort, however, did nothing for either actor. Now comes the nadir of Ford's recent career, a techno-thriller called Firewall.

Jack Stanfield (Harrison Ford) is the top bank security officer in the field. His computer network is seemingly impenetrable. In fact, its only flaw is Jack himself. In a situation that he or someone from the bank might have predicted, a group of bank robbers lead by Bill Cox (Paul Bettany) has been watching Jack and his family. When Jack takes a late-evening meeting with Cox he has no idea that Cox's thugs have taken his family hostage.

The plan is not all that ingenious really. The bad guys threaten to kill Jack's family unless he will use his security knowledge to find the robbers a way to steal the cash. Naturally, the evil plot involves framing Jack for the theft while the bad guys sneak off to the Carribean with their cash in one of those offshore accounts that are so ubiquitous amongst movie criminals.

Firewall is merely the latest in a new genre called the techno-thriller. It's a genre that requires actors to spout techno-jargon while outwitting one another at computer terminals. What sets Firewall apart is star Harrison Ford who, at 63, could not possibly seem more out of place. The crotchety action star never for a moment seems comfortable with the techno-jargon. Only when the techno-thriller devolves into fistfights does Ford rouse slightly from his discomfort.

Criticizing Harrison Ford is not easy, especially for a fanboy like myself. The man has earned undying appreciation for being Han Solo, Indiana Jones and Jack Ryan. However with his last film, Hollywood Homicide, and now Firewall, the man once considered America's number one action hero is more than showing his age. Ford looks tired throughout Firewall and it's not just because of the character's stressful situation.

Watching the clearly bedraggled action hero vainly beat on his much younger nemeses and expect us to accept it is sad to watch. Someone needed to pull Ford aside and tell him that this role is no longer his strong suit. Ford should be seeking the kind of elder statesman roles that befit someone of his age and stature. Never one to seek awards recognition, Ford might consider chasing more challenging and more rewarding pictures. Certainly no one would begrudge one of our great heroes were he to launch an attempt at being taken seriously.

Director Richard Loncraine, who directed a British thriller called Bellman & True with a very similar plot to Firewall, brings a levelheaded professionalism to his direction. Loncraine is a veteran who knows how to build tension, but working within the constrictions of this genre and a sub-par script by Joe Forte, there is not much even a pro like Loncraine could do.

Loncraine, however, must take some of the blame for taking care of his star's vanity. It is Loncraine who allowed Ford to monopolize the film with his vain attempt at recreating past heroic glories. I would not want to be the director who has to tell Harrison Ford that he just doesn't have that action juice anymore, but someone needed to take responsibility and the director should have been the one.

It took about 15 minutes into Firewall before my eyes began rolling. Once the villains begin talking about encryption codes and servers I wanted to walk out. These computer terms became tired tropes around 1998 when Sandra Bullock ran them into the ground in the identity-theft thriller The Net. They were painfully dull once again in 2000's Swordfish with Hugh Jackman and John Travolta. And I had hoped they had passed for good after Michael Douglas' oh so lame Don't Say A Word. Sadly, Firewall rolls the clichés right back out and reminds us why they were so lame the first time.

Don't Say A Word is an even-closer cousin to Firewall, and not just because Douglas is in Ford's age bracket. Both films indulge another tiresome commonplace plot device, the all-seeing cameras. Big Brother plays a big part in Firewall as the baddies have invented all sorts of neato electronic gizmos to spy on the security expert and his family. In fact these items, along with their laptops and the leader's high-performance sports car, lead one to wonder why they need to rob a bank at all. Simply sell that high-tech equipment and there is a million bucks in your pocket right there.

Firewall is not Harrison Ford's first disaster--Random Hearts, Six Days Seven Nights and Hollywood Homicide could each qualify for that. Firewall, however, is somewhat sadder than the rest. This is the first time that Ford has looked worn out, beaten and defeated. Maybe that was the intent of the performance and, if so, it was a bad decision. Ford looks tired. He looks like a guy in need of retirement or a very long vacation and that just makes the film sad to watch.

Movie Review: The Woods

The Woods (2006)

Directed by Lucky McKee

Written by David Ross

Starring Agnes Bruckner, Patricia Clarkson, Bruce Campbell, Rachel Nichols

Release Date September 26th, 2006 

Published December 29th, 2006 

Lucky McKee's debut feature May should have made him a star director. With rave reviews from Roger Ebert, Ainitcoolnews and several other high profile outlets the film had killer buzz and somehow never made it past a couple hundred theaters. The botched release of May did no favors for McKee's follow-up a boarding school set creepfest called The Woods.

Havng been completed in 2004, the film was shelved when M. Night Shyamalan briefly considered the title The Woods for his own film which later changed to The Village. The Woods ended up temporarily without a studio home until MGM snapped it up. Then the film was lost in that company's collapse. Two years later the film is now found dumped unceremoniously on DVD and another brilliant example of talent of Lucky McKee goes unnoticed.

Agnes Bruckner (Blue Car) stars in The Woods as Heather a troubled teen who finds herself being dumped into a creepy all girls school after she nearly burned her house down. The Falburn Academy is located in the middle of a forest that has a creepy legend attached to it. It is alleged that some years ago three girls were found in that forest and taken to the school. There; the girls were suspected of being witches and were subjected to horrible taunting.

Somehow, after escaping back into the woods, the three girls turned their classmates into their co-conspirators and returned to the school late one night to murder the headmistress with an axe. Even before hearing this legend; poor Heather has seen this story play out in her dreams. Heather isn't the only one hearing voices; her bitchy rival Samantha (Rachel Nichols) and her only friend Alice (Emma Campbell) hear them as well.

All of this is somehow tied to the creepy faculty lead by headmistress Ms. Traverse (Patricia Clarkson). The headmistress pulls Heather and two other scholarship students out of class often to work privately. These private lessons often lead to inexplicable supernatural occurances all of which are somehow linked to the legend of the woods that surround the school.

The story of The Woods is rather convoluted and often misunderstood. Working from a script by David Ross, director Lucky McKee seems far more interested in his directorial toys than with telling a creepy compelling story. The difference between the Lucky McKee of May and the Lucky McKee of The Woods is this time McKee did not write the script. First time screenwriter David Ross has a good sketch of a horror movie idea but it never comes together.

This may be why McKee throws himself so much into the technique of filmmaking and ignores some story aspects. There are gaping holes in this plot and occasions when the younger actresses, Agnes Bruckner especially, seem lost. That is as much McKee's fault as Ross's

There is no denying that McKee's direction is first rate. The look he achieves for the film, with the help of cinematographer John R. Leonetti, eerily evokes the 60's and 70's work of Dario Argento and Roman Polanski. Pay close attention to the clever and creepy way McKee uses sound in The Woods. Listen to how certain effects are used, how footfalls are occasionally louder than need be, the way wind and rustling leaves so deftly mix with the film score. Sound design is an underappreciated art but in the hands of a master like Lucky McKee it certainly gets its due.

Kudos to Lucky McKee for hiring Bruce Campbell to play Heather's father. Just when you think its only a cameo, McKee brings the greatest B-movie actor alive back into the action late in the film. If only he had access to a chainsaw; I might have found fanboy nirvana.

The one actor who thrives in The Woods is Patricia Clarkson whose perfectly measured gentility never boils over into cackling villain overkill. Clarkson's headmistress is far more intriguing for being serene and eerie and that is just how Clarkson plays it. The oscar nominee brings gravitas to an otherwise B-movie cast and her presence raises the level of the actors around her.

The Woods is a rare example of how great direction can be a form of popcorn entertainment. For fans of the techniques of filmmaking a movie like The Woods is as enjoyable as any average good movie. Lucky McKee's little filmmaking touches, his use of sound, his evocative visuals, his numerous homages to genre veterans, all of these things are so clever and entertaining that I can forgive the rather mundane story he's telling.

Not nearly the masterpiece that was May, The Woods is an example of the talent and potential of Lucky McKee. He should probably stick to self generated material from now on in order to keep himself interested in all aspects of filmmaking. His storytelling in The Woods suffers mostly for lack of attention as much as not having great material to work from.

Flawed but still quite engaging, I am recommending The Woods but be sure to see May first. That way you will have a full understanding of just how talented Lucky McKee really is.

Movie Review The Grudge 2

The Grudge 2 (2006)

Directed by Takashi Shimizu

Written by Stephen Susco

Starring Arielle Kebbel, Jennifer Beats, Amber Tamblyn, Takako Fuji, Sarah Michelle Geller

Release Date October 13th, 2006

Published October 13th, 2006

Some say that Ju-On, Takashi Shimizu's 2001 horror flick is a Japanese horror classic. I've seen Ju-on and I was not that impressed. I was further unimpressed when Shimizu adapted his film for American audiences in 2004 and called it The Grudge. I missed Ju-On 2, sad for me, however I did see The Grudge 2. If the Ju-On sequel is anything like its American twin I'm sure I would have been just as unimpressed.

Sarah Michele Gellar briefly returns to the role of Karen in Grudge 2. If you recall, Karen was an American student attending school in Tokyo when she was cursed by entering a house where a brutal murder took place. Now Karen is in a mental institution because no one believes that the murder victim, now a ghost, is after her.

In Grudge 2 Karen's sister Aubrey (Amber Tamblyn) arrives to take Karen home but unfortunately she arrives just in time to witness Karen's seeming suicide. (If you are calling this a spoiler you haven't seen the film's trailer which features Karen's death). Of course, Karen's death was no suicide; something Aubrey finds out from a journalist named Eason (Edison Chen). Eason has been following the story of the murderous house and the deaths of the people associated with it and soon he has drawn Aubrey into the ghostly danger.

Meanwhile in another movie, I mean subplot, three teenagers arrive at the Grudge house on a dare and soon find themselves cursed by the house and followed by the deathly pale ghost of a dead woman and her dead son. While two of the teenagers disappear another takes the Grudge ghosts home to America with her where they begin to infect the inhabitants of a stately Chicago apartment building.

The Grudge 2 is what I like to call a 'BOO' movie. Essentially the film plods along with dull expository dialogue, then the eerie soundtrack kicks up, and the bad guy turns to the camera and says 'BOO'. Then more dull dialogue and another 'BOO'.

Director Takashi Shimizu does not know how to craft a creepy atmosphere. His use of gray offset at times by bright colors is interesting. Unfortunately, the atmosphere is the only interesting thing about The Grudge 2. The story of the movie is so convoluted and ludicrous that figuring out the plot is a lesson in futility. What is The Grudge? Is the creepy house called The Grudge? Does the house have a grudge against the people that walk inside it? Does the ghost have a grudge against the living?

I don't need the answers to all of these questions but some recognition of the confusion caused by this odd title is something it would not have killed the filmmakers to provide.

The PG-13 rating of The Grudge 2 takes most of the fun out of the scares. Blood and guts aren't absolutely necessary for a great horror film but the best of the genre certainly make good use of them. The Grudge and now Grudge 2 are pretty well bloodless and rely almost entirely on atmosphere, creepy music and 'boo' moments when something leaps out of the dark, perfectly timed to a screech in a music track.

My main point is this, if your film is so obviously devoid of scares then, at the very least you could spill a little blood, display a little carnage, show a little skin. This is the genre that toys with the senses, titillating in one moment, repulsing in the next. It's one of the things we go to a horror movie for, that push and pull of emotions, the manipulation of the fear response and the gag reflex. Without those elements a movie like The Grudge 2 is just dull.

BOO! can be scary when you aren't expecting it. When you buy a ticket for a horror movie however, you are expecting BOO!. Thus, a good horror movie needs more than BOO!. The Grudge 2 augments the BOO! with a creepy atmosphere but nothing more. That may frighten a two year old but not many two year old's will be attending The Grudge 2.

Movie Review The Goods Live Hard Sell Hard

The Goods Live Hard Sell Hard (2009) 

Directed by Neal Brennan

Written by Adam McKay, Will Ferrell, Kevin Messick, Chris Henchy

Starring Jeremy Piven, David Koechner, Kathryn Hahn, Ken Jeong, Jordan Spiro 

Release Date April 14th, 2009 

Published April 13th, 2009 

The makers of the comedy The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard, owe a deep debt, possibly even royalty payments, to John Landis who's 2004 documentary Slasher is undoubtedly the inspiration for this comedy about a group of mercenary car salesmen who stage massive sales for desperate car dealers. No mention is made in the credits or on the film's IMDB page of Slasher but I fear, honestly, litigation could be on order.

I had time to ponder this as I watched The Goods because this inconsistent comedy leaves a good deal of time for thinking about other things.

in The Goods Jeremy Piven plays Don Ready. His job, really, his life, is selling cars. With his for hire team of mercenary salesmen, Don is in a new city week after week with a new sale to run and new suckers to take advantage of. His latest job however, in the middle of nowhere town of Temecula(?) has some unexpected pitfalls.

Hired by Ben Selleck (James Brolin) to save his used car lot from bank foreclosure and taken over by his rival (Alan Thicke, in cameo), Don finds himself beginning to question his mercenary lifestyle. In the course of business Don meets and falls for Ivy (Jordan Spiro), Selleck's daughter. And then there is Blake (Jason Sadowski) , a Selleck employee who may or may not be Don's illegitimate son via a one night stand two decades earlier.

Meanwhile, Don's team are also meeting new challenges. Brent (David Koechner), the team finance guy, has to fend off the unwanted advances of Mr. Selleck. Babs (Kathryn Hahn), team eye candy, falls for Selleck's 10 year old son. Don't worry, he's a ten year old in the body of a thirtysomething and played by comic Rob Riggle. Jibby (Ving Rhames), the team's ethnic diversity, falls for a stripper and hopes to 'make love' for the first time.

Naturally, there is an enemy and he is played by Ed Helms as a rival car salesman who also happens to be engaged to Ivy and a member of a so-called 'Man band' whose claim to fame is once having opened for the group O-Town. If you think he has much hope of competing with Don Ready you probably haven't seen many movies.

The Goods: Live Hard, Sell Hard is yet another in a long line of comedies that tries to get past predictable plotting by being exceptionally raunchy. The formula is however kicked up a notch thanks to the casting of some of the best comic supporting players working today. The all star team of supporting players is lead by Ken Jeong (The Hangover, Role Models), Tony Hale (Arrested Development), Wendie Malick and Craig Robinson. This terrific group pull laughs like the pros that they are and they elevate the otherwise forgettable movie with their uncommon talents.

Not that the main cast isn't good. I really like Ving Rhames in a very non-typically vulnerable performance. David Koechner's performance never goes in the direction you expect it to and Kathryn Hahn more than holds her own against the veteran launchers like Koechner and Helms.

The one performance that is just a degree off is Jeremy Piven who seems adrift between being the Fonzie and the affable, likable lead. The balance is never found. Don Ready is something of a loser, so no cool to fall back on and he is never all that likable even when he is supposedly playing vulnerable and in love.

I don't know if Piven is miscast in the role but he is definitely one of the things in the movie that doesn't completely work. The other is the stilted direction of TV vet Neal Brennan. Underlining all his points, Brennan directs The Goods as if mimicking, even parodying, other raunchy comedies of recent years.

There is nothing to really set The Goods apart from other R-rated comedies. Is it funny? Yes, and for some that will be enough. Myself, I was hoping for something more. Oddly enough, that is likely the feeling of most people who buy cars from guys like Don Ready.

Movie Review Grindhouse

Grindhouse (2007) 

Directed by Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarentino 

Written by Robert Rodriguez, Quentin Tarentino'

Starring Rose McGowan, Freddie Rodriguez, Kurt Russell, Tracy Toms, Zoe Bell, Mary Elizabeth Winstead

Release Date April 6th, 2007

Published April 5th, 2007

Director Robert Rodriguez knows a little something about high camp. His Spy Kids movies, earnest as they were, often drifted across the line from family comedy to high camp gobbledygook. The same could be said for portions of his cult vampire flick From Dusk Till Dawn; a film that wavers between horror and high camp Roger Corman feature.

For his latest feature, half of the Grindhouse double feature, Planet Terror Rodriguez takes camp well beyond Roger Corman's wildest dreams. This off the charts nutty sci fi zombie flick flies so far off the rails, in terms of camp kitsch, that it's difficult to tell if his attempt is at homage or parody.

An ex-military unit, just back from Iraq unleashes a deadly toxin that turns citizens into flesh eating zombies in Planet Terror, Robert Rodriguez's contribution to the Grindhouse double feature. Rose McGowan stars as Cherry Darling, a go go dancer who aspires to be a stand up comic. Freddy Rodriguez is her ex-beau El Wray, a former sniper turned criminal. Somehow both Cherry and El Wray are resistant to the zombie toxin and with a small band of survivors set out to battle the military behind the attack.

That is a rather straightforward description of a not very straight forward effort. From interviews you get the impression that Robert Rodriguez intends to pay tribute to the low budget sci fi trash that he grew up watching. However, much of Planet Terror plays like bad parody in the vein of 2004's forgotten Lost Skeleton of Cadavra, another lame attempt at a sci fi send-up.

There are a few cool things about Planet Terror Planet, the coolest being Rose McGowan's kick ass M-16 leg. After Cherry is attacked by zombies and loses a leg El Wray first fashions a table leg, which she puts to good violent use. However, later she gets another new leg and this one has awesome firepower and makes for one very cool visual.

The rest of McGowan's performance is a relative disaster of overly arch delivery and poorly delivered punchlines. The trailers for Grindhouse played up the gun leg and the badass action elements of her performance. Watching Planet Terror you may be quite surprised how ineffectual and often in the background Ms. McGowan is.

The badass of the movie is the slight, babyfaced Freddy Rodriguez. Not the most likely action star, Freddy Rodriguez is actually an inspired bit of casting. Back in the day when this type of low budget flick was made, directors could rarely get the actor they wanted for the money they could play and often ended up with miscast leads. Rodriguez as a bad boy action stud is a cute little inside joke nod to those low budget days.

The troubles of Planet Terror fall squarely with director Robert Rodriguez who fails to establish a consistent tone of sincere homage or high camp send up. There are little touches that work, like the small role for legendary special effects man Tom Savini and the occasional use of his old school effects rather than CGI.Then there is plenty that doesn't work like most of Rose McGowan's performance and the film's many gross out moments which are so stomach turning disgusting that many will want to walk out. These gross out moments further muddy the waters of Robert Rodriguez's intentions with Planet Terror, the homage versus parody battle that unsettles the entire picture. Some of the gross out is funny; some is merely off putting.

When compared with the film it shares the double bill with, Quentin Tarentino's Death Proof, Planet Terror is an utter disaster. Where Tarentino provides sincere homage combined with highly skilled filmmaking, Rodriguez can't decide what he's doing and ends up just tossing anything and everything at the screen to see what sticks.

When it comes to Grindhouse, wait for the DVD. That way you can skip Planet Terror and just watch Death Proof.

Quentin Tarentino is the preeminent film artist of the modern era. A savant like talent who learned filmmaking by watching movies, Tarentino has turned applied knowledge into great art and even now in his tortured partnership with Robert Rodriguez on the twin bill Grindhouse, Tarentino takes his applied knowledge of low filmmaking and turns it into yet another masters class in filmmaking.

Death Proof is an homage to a certain kind of 1970's drive in slasher movie that is actually still being made today on the fringes of the straight to video biz. The film stars Kurt Russell as Stuntman Mike, a Hollywood stuntman well past his prime.

With the advent of CGI guys like Stuntman Mike are a dying breed and you can hear the resentment in his voice as he recounts his history in the business, back in the day when he was a double for Lee Majors! He still works from time to time but he knows that his days are numbered.

It is this resentment that may explain, in some odd way, why Mike takes his anger out on unsuspecting women. Luring them into his tricked out stunt car which he claims is death proof, Stuntman Mike intentionally crashes the car and kills his passenger. The car is only death proof if you're in the driver's seat.

Setting his sights on a verbose group of women in a bar, a radio DJ and her three friends, Stuntman Mike first seems like just another creepy patron hitting on younger girls. When they end up rejecting his advances he takes it out on them in a horrifying car chase.

Then the scene shifts to a diner in Tennessee where four different women; working on a film crew, are sitting around discussing movies and men. Abbie (Rosario Dawson) is the makeup girl, Lee (Mary Elizabeth Winstead) and Kim (Tracie Toms) and Zoe (Zoe Bell) are stunt women.

Zoe is visiting and has heard that a local man is selling a 1970 Dodge Challenger, just like the one Barry Newman drove in the movie Vanishing Point, pristine condition, right down to the color and the four barrel engine. Zoe wants a test drive and something more. Little do the girls know that Stuntman Mike is nearby and wants a piece of the action.

That scene leads to one of the greatest car chases you have ever seen in a movie. Tarentino's filmmaking skills create a visceral, emotional, physical experience. These chases are as good as his dialogue which is, as usual, dense and filled to overflow with pop culture bacchanalia.

The characters in the first half of Death Proof, aside from Stuntman Mike, are a verbose and intelligent lot who have interesting, involving conversations that sound mighty familiar. Peppered with references to the Acuna Boys (Kill Bill), foot massages (Pulp Fiction) and Red Apple Cigarettes (every Tarentino film), these conversations are so inside baseball they could make Kevin Smith Blush.

I'm not saying that Death Proof is for Tarentino fans only, it just deepens the experience if you get the references. This is a terrifically smart and entertaining and exciting movie regardless of whether you are a Tarentino fan. Besides, the chase scenes are essentially wordless and are the most entertaining and invigorating part of the film.

Everything about Death Proof works. This is among the best works of Tarentino's career and one of the best movies you will see in 2007.